In the summer of 2005, I found myself spending a weekend alone. My husband was out of town on a business trip and our daughter was spending the weekend with friends. I didn’t have any plans and I hadn’t called any friends to come by and keep me company, as I normally might have. I had just had a very long week at work and I wanted to relax and enjoy some quiet time. I had spent that Saturday afternoon reading, snacking on some nachos and finally falling asleep on the couch. The long July sky had finally started to darken, bringing with it a little breeze and I thought some ice cream and maybe a movie might be good companions. Throwing on an old t-shirt over some plaid boxer shorts, I wasn’t dressed to impress. The heat made my long hair sticky and I pulled it back carelessly. My appearance was the last thing on my mind.

At the video store, I took my time. No need to rush, I looked through the horror films and was enjoying myself. I didn’t get enough time alone. I looked up to see the display above my head and saw a man I had known for years. I was stunned. “What are you doing here?” I asked. “Sabo lives down the street from here now, he and Jamie bought a house on this side of town! I can’t believe I’m seeing you!” he replied. We’d known each other for many years and had dated off and on for about 6 months. He was much more serious about it than I was and when I broke it off to date someone else, he didn’t take it well. I looked around to see whom he was with but not seeing anyone from our old crowd, I relaxed. I didn’t feel like putting up a front and really didn’t feel like seeing anyone. We chatted for a few minutes and reminisced about his sister, who had passed away from HIV in 1999. We talked about his family. I forgot that he could be funny and charming when he chose to be and that night, he chose to. I didn’t at any time suspect he might be setting me up to take his anger out on me for the way I’d treated him years ago.

“Come over to Sabo’s, Katie. Come on. You ditched all your old friends when you got married and everyone misses you. Your name comes up all the time.” It was true. When I married my husband about 7 years before, I changed a lot of things in my life and one of them was to stop associating with the party crowd I’d been friends with for so long. I quit drinking; smoking and I made the decision to stop associating with people who chose to drink and smoke marijuana. I wasn’t judging them and I certainly didn’t think I was better in any way than any of them. I just wanted to change my life. I remembered going to the funeral of the sister who had died from HIV. The flowers, the stale air, the red eyes and the smell of Jack Daniels on the breath of almost everyone there were my last memories from the crowd I had known for so long. “Ok, Trent. But I’m driving my own car over and I’m not getting trashed with you guys.” He lit up. “Yes!” He crowed,”Let’s go. Dude everyone will be so glad to see you! This is so cool!!” I have asked myself over and over a million times what was I thinking when I decided to go over to our friend’s house with Trent. I have never been able to find a satisfactory answer. Maybe I wanted to see what I had missed over the past 7 years, maybe I wanted to see if anyone had changed, maybe I was hoping I had been missed, maybe I was just bored. But that decision was to change the rest of my life.

I followed Trent down the street and around a neighborhood that was somewhat familiar to me. My daughter had friends who lived nearby and my niece went to school here as well. I wasn’t really thinking about what I was doing. I figured I’d just hang out for a little while, see the old crowd. See if anyone really HAD missed me or if Trent was spinning his usual line of crap that he was notorious for. We pulled into a cul-de-sac and I recognized a couple standing by the door at once: Trent’s band mate Sabo and his wife, Jamie-Lynn. “Oh my God!” she came running down the drive and grabbed me in a huge hug. “Katie! What are you doing here?! How did you find us?! Come inside, come on….” As she pulled me in the house we were both laughing and pleasure flowed from both our smiles. We were genuinely happy to see each other. There were about 9 or 10 other people there that I knew from when I was a part of the old crowd. All of them seemed to be happy to see me and we all started to reminisce about the times we had when we were still in high school and for the most part, responsibility free.

Everyone was drinking beer and screwdrivers and when Trent asked me what I wanted to drink, I said,” Just water, ok?” “Sure, no problem,” he replied and walked off to get it. We continued to talk and joke around. It was good to see them, to be included, to feel like I was missed. It was one of those situations where you don’t see what is going to happen next and a party atmosphere is contagious. Trent brought me bottled water. I was dying of thirst and took a long drink right away. It was icy cold and I drank the whole thing pretty fast. Sabo had rolled a big joint and asked me if I wanted to smoke it with him and the guys out back by the pool. I told him I wasn’t smoking and he said, “That’s cool, if you want, you can come put your feet in the pool while we smoke and then we’re gonna practice if you want to stay. Maybe order some dinner, if you feel like hanging around for a while.” I looked into the family room and saw Sabo’s drum kit set up. I was starting to feel a little strange so I said, “I don’t know…. can I use your restroom, Sabo?” “Yeah, of course, third door on the right.”