I am an adoptee. It took me along time to come to terms with that .. years as a matter of fact. My parents told me at a very young age that I was adopted, so for me, it wasn't a shock like I know it's been for others. After the birth of my third daughter and nearly losing my life, I came to the decision that it was time I found my birth family, so that's what I set out to do. I started where most people start, on the Internet. I didn't find anything except frustration so I took it to the next step. I called the agency that handled my adoption, Lutheran Social Services. They were very kind and really seemed to want to help, something I wasn't prepared for. I was prepared for anger, resentment and un-cooperation, but not nice. I signed the papers for them to begin the search and then I waited. It wasn't long before they called me back and told me they had located my birthmother. I was both excited and afraid. For people who are not adopted, it's hard to understand, but it's like walking up to these people whom you've never seen before, never talked to before, never knew yet gave you the breath that's in your body. It's a profound experience to say the least. For me the search and subsequent reunion would go very well. I found a whole new family, my dad, sisters and a brother, but for many ... the experience is a frustrating nightmare and usually ends in bitter regret. Why? Because most adoptee's will never get past the search point.

For most, birth records were sealed in 1947 by an act of Legislation that sealed the original birth certificate of adoptee's and ordered the creation of a new one with the names of the adoptive parents. Birthmothers were promised aninimity, no one would ever see those records ... or so they said.

The Oregon court system ruled that birth certificates shall be open to any adoptee over the age of 21. The birth certificate lists the mothers name, address (at the time of the child's birth) and the fathers information if it was provided. With this information at hand, it wouldn't be difficult to locate a person.

So here you have 50 years of promises to women, broken with one final ruling. Whose rights should come first? The birthmother who signed legal documents stating that her information would never be released? Or the adoptee who wants to know why he's here at all? I don't know, I don't pretend to know. I'm as mixed up about it as the next person. Some say the birthmothers rights should come first, they were promised aninimity Others say the adoptee has a right to know where and how they came to be. I tend to agree with both.

But let's take a look at this for a moment. Think about the young man, 30 something, adopted as an infant and has decided he would like to find his biological family. He lives in Oregon, so no problem. He gets his birth certificate, finds out the information he needs and locates his birth mother. This scenario can go one of two ways ... the good way (where the mother has told her family, her husband and her children that she had a child out of wedlock and placed that child for adoption and now he's come home to find them all) or the bad way, (he finds his birth mother, she's told no one. She's been married for a hundred years with three children and none of them know. It all comes out that she was molested as a young girl by her father and ended up pregnant. Now this 30 something man finds out that his father is also his grandfather and his mother is his sister.)

Sounds like something out of a hillbilly joke, but the fact of the matter is, it happened. So what do you say to this mother who was promised aninimity? What do you say to this woman who could have chosen illegal abortion, but chose to give life instead? What do you tell her?

And on the other side, what do you tell the adoptee who wants to know where they came from? Who their parents were? Are? What do you tell them when they want to know their heritage?

I don't know.

Do you?

Read Tracey's Response to This Article Regarding Her Reunion Experience.
Her story shows that there isn't always a happy ending.

Some Feedback For Tracey.
Sent in by a Justice Junction reader.

Another Response From L.W.